Enjoying Your Kids: Building Relationship in the Everyday
Most of what we say to our kids in a day sounds like a to-do list. Find your shoes. Brush your teeth. Clean your room. Get off your phone. Those reminders matter, and kids need instruction. But if we added up the words we speak at home, many of us would find that correction has crowded out connection. Our kids may not remember every devotional or every talk we gave them, but they’ll remember what it felt like to live in our home. Discipleship happens best in relationship, and relationship is built in the ordinary everyday.
Scripture paints a picture of what that home can feel like. “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity” (Colossians 3:12–14). When parents wear those things at home, kids don’t just hear about the gospel; they feel it. That isn’t easy. It’s often simpler to provide than to cultivate, to buy the next thing rather than be fully present. Kids sometimes act like they want nothing to do with us. Some of us are wired completely differently from our children, and some of us never saw this kind of relationship modeled growing up. But the story is still being written, and none of those barriers gets the final word.
So start small. Enter your child’s world the way Jesus entered ours. Get on the floor and build a blanket fort, even if the couch cushions end up everywhere. Say yes to dancing in the rain or a night of campfire chili and smoky clothes, because shared memories only grow in value over time, and the values you hope to pass on travel with them. After discipline, don’t let shame linger. Wrap your child in a hug so they feel forgiveness, not just hear about it. Invite them on adventures, whether that’s a hike or taking cookies to a neighbor, and tell them, “I choose you.” And keep God’s Word in your own heart, so that in the unplanned moments, what comes out of you looks like Him. Relationships are messy and wildly inefficient, but they’re how lasting influence is formed. This week, take an honest look at what’s been essential and what’s been optional in your home, and take one step toward simply enjoying your kids.
Share this podcast with someone who feels like most of their words at home are reminders and corrections, and who wants their kids to know they’re enjoyed, not just managed.