How to Heal from Brokenness

A Broken Home

In the household growing up, I felt an intense amount of fear. I felt unwanted and that I was not enough. My parents were married. We lived in a moderately nice house, but nobody knew what was happening on the inside. My dad started abusing his medication. My mom also enjoyed drinking. What that led to was a very absent mom and a very enraged, abusive dad.

I connected with these kids that were living in similar lifestyles but a lot more free. I would use drugs with my friends because their parents had them–I mean—they were just readily available. My mom then stated that she couldn’t have two drug addicts in the household. So, I got kicked out of my home.

A Hard Road

That point I had to figure out how I was going to take care of myself. Eventually, I stayed with a friend, and his girlfriend was dancing a strip club. She told me, “You know…you can make a lot more money if you would go into this industry.” From there, I learned how to make better money which was in prostitution.

Being in the sex industry, I was introduced to a lot of different strip clubs and eventually landed at one where I met the owner. He decided that he didn’t want me to do drugs anymore even though, ironically, he was my main drug supplier. I decided I would go do these 30 days rehab to just get the piece of paper and bring it home so that I wouldn’t lose my comfort zone. 

It wasn’t until the second round of rehab when I was introduced to 12 step programs, which introduce to you the idea of God. So, in the process of being in and out of rehab, the question then was “Who is God?” I could accept that I’m not it. And that was the tiny mustard seed of faith.

A Helping Hand

I was introduced to my counselor, and she was that pivotal person for me. She took time out of her day and sacrificed time to be able to go through those passages so that I wasn’t left there wondering, “What does all of this mean?” I truly believe that that moment in history was God pursuing me. Throughout our Bible studies, the question arose: Do you know what salvation is? She told me to pray and ask God to show me what salvation was.

The next day, I went to my job. I was working at the YMCA. One of the members pulled in, and she’s about to walk into the gym. About an hour later, she shows up at my parking booth. She asks, “Hey, can I pray for you?” So, I said “Sure.” She did not know that I was not saved. She did not know whether I wanted to be saved…just completely following the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Then, she asked me the most important question I’ve ever been asked and that was “Can you feel the Holy Spirit?” When she asked me that question, tangible power shot through both of my arms. And I knew in that moment I had been saved.

A Healed Life

Since coming to Christ, my life did not immediately get better. I ended up going to house church that taught me I did not understand anything about Christianity. There was no way that I was going to go to a Sunday morning–a few months in a row–and get this hunger filled. So, that’s when I started college at Williamson college. I ended up pursuing my Ministry Leadership Degree, and I got a minor Nonprofit because I knew that I wanted to give back. I wanted to teach people what I didn’t know.

When you pursue the truth with complete abandon and rigorous honesty, you will end cross every single time. There is a God. His name is Jesus Christ, and this is who I will pursue for the rest of my life.