My childhood was filled with precious memories. I treasured time with family and friends and spent countless hours at my church, but when I turned twelve, I didn’t expect my life to be turned upside down. Only two months after my conversion, a loved one fell into deep depression and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.
Watching a loved one suffer from the debilitating effects of mental illness was devastating. As I felt angry and alone, I just didn’t understand why God would allow my family to suffer like this. During this time, I stopped reading the Bible and praying altogether, as my loved one descended further into a dark place, even attempting to end their life on multiple occasions.
The Promise of God
Following a failed suicide attempt that I witnessed, I ran into my room and collapsed on the floor. Looking up, I saw my Bible on my nightstand where it had remained untouched for two whole years. I picked up my Bible and opened to Hebrews 13. My eyes landed on verse 5 where it says, “Never will I leave you nor forsake you.”
Life didn’t get easier, but everything changed because I knew God—sustainer, healer, faithful, sovereign, merciful. I knew God is with me and my family. Jesus walks with me through the valley of the shadow of death.
Being reminded that the Lord will never forsake me is enough to still that raging sea of anxiety that often threatens to overwhelm me daily.
God’s Presence Will Sustain Me
Praise God that through my trials I am more like Jesus. I know that I wouldn’t be who I am today if God didn’t ordain these struggles that have brought me to complete dependence upon Him. Now, I can live my life in true freedom, in abundant joy, and with urgency to share the gospel. I can now love my family, my friends, my church, and this world around me because He first loved me.
I didn’t know Jesus is all I needed until He was all I had. Whatever life brings my way, I know that God’s grace will sustain me. I truly know that He will never leave me or forsake me.